Knapp's Model (PRINT)

•Knapp’s Model

•Escalating Stages (coming together)

•Initiating:

–Relatively short stage

–Introduce yourself

•“Hello. Nice to meet you?”

–Interactants are concerned with making favorable impressions on each other

–As we scan the person, we consider our own stereotypes, any prior knowledge of the other’s reputation, what we expect, etc.

–We’re asking ourselves if this person is attractive or unattractive

•Experimenting:

–Asking of Q’s

–Finding out about the other person

–“What do you do?” “You like to dance? So do I.” “How do you know_____?” (small talk)

–This is where similarities are found

–Norm that says, “If you tell me your hometown, I’ll tell you mine.”

–Like an audition

–Pleasant and uncritical

–Many relationships don’t go beyond

•Intensifying:

–Strengthening interpersonal development

–Increased self disclosure

–Breadth and depth increase significantly

–Spend more time together (shared activities)

–Start sharing a language

–Doing favors for one another and giving tokens of affection

–Expectation of relationship commitment

–Labels form

–Using “we” and “us”

–“I think I love you.” “I really like you”

•Integrating:

–Interdependence

–Lives are fused

–Similarities in manner, dress, and verbal behavior

–Others see you as a pair

–Disclosure deepens immensely here

–Relationship norms (rituals)

–“We are like one person.” “I feel so much a part of you.”

•Bonding:

–Public commitment

–Look to this person for assistance with self concept

–Few relationships ever reach this stage

–“I want to be with you forever.”

•De-escalation (coming apart)

•Differentiating:

–To disengage or uncouple

–Differences may be interests or attitudes

–Sign of stress in the relationship

–Physical contact decreases

–Start thinking in terms of “me” instead of “we”

–Conflict becomes more regular

–Warning sign that couples need to discuss issues

–Can try to save the relationship here

–“I just don’t understand you.”

•Circumscribing:

–Become increasingly distant

–Quality and quantity of communication decreases

–Question their relationship

–Ignore issues/avoid topics

–“Don’t ask me about that.” “Let’s not talk about that anymore.”

•Stagnating:

–“Hollow shell of its former self”

–The relationship isn’t moving anywhere

–Not so much of a couple anymore

–Messages between the couple are now reflective to those of strangers 

–Feel trapped

–People begin to notice 

–“I know what you’re going to say, and you know what I'm going to say.”

•Avoiding:

–Direct or indirect avoidance

–Don’t discuss anything at all

–Treating the other as if they don’t exist

–The relationship has ended in all but the most formal ways

–“Sorry, I’m really busy. I can’t see you.”

–Possibility of lowered self concept when being ignored

•Terminating:

–Divorce, break-up

–Occurs due to physical separation, growing socially or psychologically apart, or the death of one of the partners