Listening Notes

•Listening

•An Important Skill in Communicating

•Stages of listening (HURIER Model)

–Hearing: filtering through and focusing on sounds

–Understanding: applying meaning to the information you heard

–Remembering: recalling the information

–Interpreting: paying attention to the verbal and nonverbal messages of the speaker

–Evaluating: analyzing the message for credibility 

–Responding: verbal and nonverbal: eye contact, asking questions

•Barriers in Listening

•Information Overload: too much info at once

•Rebuttal Tendency: focused on their own needs, thinking about what they are going to say next, talk about themselves, and interrupt.

•Closed-mindedness: being judgmental, second-guessing

•Competitive Interrupting: dominating the conversation by interrupting or creating a battle of wits

•External/Internal Noise

•Listening Styles

•People-oriented: more interpersonal, sensitive to the other person, empathetic

•Action-oriented: want the person to get to the point, the second guess others

•Content-oriented: better at listening to facts and details,

•Time-oriented: like brief descriptions

•Gender Differences

•Women listen to connect with others, to build rapport, and to strengthen relationships

•Men listen to gain respect and establish dominance

•Women make more eye contact

•Men listen to women less than women listen to men

•Not to say that all these ways that men listen or not listen are all negative, it is just based on socialization

•Active Listening

•Active listening: one of the most important skills in communication

•stop: stop thinking about other things: noise, talking to yourself

•look: focus on nonverbal as well as verbal (listen with your eyes and ears)

•listen

–ask questions: to clarify for ourselves and to show we’re paying attention

–paraphrase: what you heard and repeat back to them

–be empathetic: feeling what the other person is feeling